Time Waster...[Jokes]

Cheeriox guys!!! This will be the first post of the new year and i know its been kinda long, today being the 13th of January 2008 already, however I have been thinking about what new stuffs to post on my blog and have come up with an idea or two. Firstly, to start a 'new' year on a fun note, I decided upon including some timewaster jokes in this post. Secondly, in the next few posts to come, I may decide to include some timewaster games to play for in my blog. Thirdly, I might be inclined to post a bit more on the movies section because I noticed that I did not do much on this part the previous year. So onward with the timewaster jokes for today..

I have, over the course of my life, classified jokes into several sections. Please allow me to introduce them to you. Firstly, there are the kinds that are naturally funny and really witty and may include everyday comments or remarks. Secondly, there are the lame jokes that are rather funny and as a result, very much welcomed by the masses. Third group of jokes? Easy.. These are the really, really, really lame ones that do not make much sense and always result in an awkward Cheeriox guys!!! This will be the first post of the new year and i know its been kinda long, today being the 13th of January 2008 already, however I have been thinking about what new stuffs to post on my blog and have come up with an idea or two. Firstly, to start a 'new' year on a fun note, I decided upon including some timewaster jokes in this post. Secondly, in the next few posts to come, I may decide to include some timewaster games to play for in my blog. Thirdly, I might be inclined to post a bit more on the movies section because I noticed that I did not do much on this part the previous year. So onward with the timewaster jokes for today..

I have, over the course of my life, classified jokes into several sections. Please allow me to introduce them to you. Firstly, there are the kinds that are naturally funny and really witty and may include everyday comments or remarks. Secondly, there are the lame jokes that are rather funny and as a result, very much welcomed by the masses. Third group of jokes? Easy.. These are the really, really, really lame ones that do not make much sense and always result in an awkward expression from your friends. Resort to the third group of jokes only and only if you want those people to stop being friends with you. :)

So, away with the boring blabble and onward with the jokes... They will be funny, I assure you.

GAY JOKE 1:
A man walks into a store to buy a Barbie doll for his daughter. “How much is that Barbie in the window?”, he asks the shop assistant.
In a manner she responds, “Which Barbie? We have Barbie Goes to the Gym for $19.95, Barbie Goes to the Ball for $19.95, Barbie Goes Shopping for $19.95, Barbie Goes to the Beach for $19.95, Barbie Goes Nightclubbing for $19.95, and Divorced Barbie for $395.00.”
The guy asks, “Why is Divorced Barbie different from all the others?”
“That’s obvious,” the assistant states, “Divorced Barbie comes with Ken’s house, Ken’s car, Ken’s boat, Ken’s furniture…”

GAY JOKE 2:
Little Johnny wakes up several nights in a row when he hears a thumping sound coming from his parent's room.
Finally, one morning he says to his mom, “Mommy, every night I hear you and daddy making noises and when I look in your bedroom you`re bouncing up and down on him.”
His mom is taken by surprise and says, “Oh…well…ah…well, I`m bouncing on his stomach because he`s fat and that makes him thin again.” The boy responds, “That won`t work!” His mom says, “Why not?” The boy replies, “Because the lady next door comes by after you leave for work each day and blows him back up.

GAY JOKE 3:
A blonde chick found herself sitting next to a lawyer on an airplane. Bored, the lawyer kept bugging the blonde wanting her to play a game of intelligence (lawyers like easy prey). Finally, the lawyer offered her 10 to 1 odds, said every time the blonde could not answer one of his questions she owed him $5, but every time he could not answer hers he’d give her $50.00. The lawyer figured he could not lose, and the blonde reluctantly accepted.
The lawyer first asked, “What is the distance between the Earth and the nearest star?” Without saying a word the blonde handed him $5.
The blonde then asked, “What goes up a hill with 3 legs and comes back down the hill with 4 legs?”
The lawyer looked puzzled. He spent nearly an hour, looking up everything he could on his laptop and even placing numerous air-to-ground phone calls, trying to find the answer. Finally, angry and frustrated, he gave up and paid the blonde $50.00
The blonde put the $50 into her purse without comment, but the lawyer insisted, “What is the answer to your question?”
Without saying a word, the blonde handed him $5.

GAY JOKE 4:
During a good manners and etiquette class being held for young children, the teacher says to her students:
“If you were courting a well educated young girl from a prominent family and during a dinner for two you needed to go to the toilet, what would you say to her?”
Mike replies: “Wait a minute, I’m going for a piss.”
The teacher says: “That would be very rude and improper on your part.”
Charlie replies: “I’m sorry I need to go to the toilet, I’ll be back in a minute.”
The teacher says: “That’s much better but to mention the word “toilet” during a meal, is unpleasant.”
And Little Johnny says: “My dear, please excuse me for a moment. I have to go shake hands with a personal friend, whom, I hope to be able to introduce to you after dinner.”

....MORE TO COME. ( I did this in school so will have to finish up next time.. stay tuned...) :)